For the first time ever... Q & A

Those of you that are loyal readers know that I never do this... but I have had such a barrage of emails that I feel I must follow up. For the first time ever, I'm going to do a little Q & A. Once again, I apologize in advance if I offend anyone.

Off we go.

Q: Hey jerk, I am a cop, and I'm out there putting my life on the line every day to protect assholes like you. You should be thankful that there are people like me!

A: You're putting your life on the line to protect assholes? What... did you flunk out of proctology school and decide to become one of Rochester's finest? Wow... I think it may be time to re-assess your career path. And lasty, you're right... I am thankful that there are people like you. Without people like you, i.e. cops, skinheads, neo Nazis, rodeo clowns, the Boston Red Sox, Red Sox fans, demolition derby judges, guys that wear a baseball cap turned sideways, and the people that hang out at the Pennzoil station across from city hall in Jamestown, NY on Friday & Saturday nights, I would have absolutely no one to make fun of and at which to direct my pithy nuances. Now go home and trim your mustache.

Q: I'm a cop, and you better pray that I never have the pleasure of pulling your punk ass over some night.

A: I've gotten a few of these threatening emails... telling me that they're out to get me and that they're going to make my life a living hell. I'd like to address this once and for all, and end this. The morons that sent me the "I'm going to get you" emails are simply proving my point for me... and that point is that Rochester cops have nothing better to do. This is exactly the reason that they're on Park Avenue at 4:46PM writing tickets. Shouldn't you be out nailing drug dealers? Isn't there someone else out there that is actually breaking the law? Isn't there someone out there other than a person with no criminal record parking a minivan that you should be out there attempting to apprehend? I'm pretty sure that there are far greater threats to society at large than me. Finally, to answer your moronic, jack-booted thug email... I hope you pull me over some night. Again, I have no criminal record, I have no outstanding parking tickets or warrants, I don't drive drunk, and my father is one of the most feared attorneys in New York State. Pull me over.

Q: My brother is a cop, and I pray every night that he's safe while he's taking care of you, me, and all of us.

A: Good take... I respect that. I pray that he's safe, and I pray that he is not one of the countless assholes that is, in fact, out there being a militant asshole. One other thing that I would pray for... pray that he gets out of that line of work and lands a job where he's not dodging bullets for $34K/year. That's all I've got on this one.

Q: Who the fuck do you think you are??? There are plenty of cops that are out there that are great people. You're just an opinionated ass.

A: I think I'm the guy that owns this domain, therefore, it's my job and my God-given right to be an opinionated ass. You see, when you don't live in a Nazi regime, you have the freedom to write, print or say virtually whatever you want. This is America, welcome to it. And to answer your assertion that there are plenty of cops that are out there that are great people; until I meet one and he doesn't try to intimidate or overpower me by flashing his badge, either professionally or socially, literally or figuratively, I stand by my statement.

I could go on for days with this Q & A, but I'll spare you the boring literary marathon, simply because it would be just that; a marathon. Quite frankly, I'm 33 years old and I just don't have the stamina anymore... besides, there are so many emails that are just so unbelievably retarded that I fail to muster the energy or inclination to actually dignify them with a response. If I didn't get to yours, I apologize.

So, that's it. I've done my best. That might be it for today, but who knows... I might run outside and see a ticket for the tire pressure being too low on the minivan. Until then, rest in the solace that is... the corner apartment.

Until next time...

R