F'ing finally. The move is now complete. All the shit that I had in the old place is into the new place, and now I have a bigger place to store all my shit. There. Having said that, you, my loyal readers, get yet another apology. Sorry. Yes, I've had internet access since Monday of this week. Yes, I've been able to post since then. Yes, I've been neglecting the blog. Yes, I've been really f'ing tired from work this week, and finally... yes, I apologize. I won't say that it won't happen again, but sorry anyway. So there.
Wow, here we are... the very first post from the new corner apartment. Strap in. Here we go.
On that note, I have to thank my multitude of readers that have emailed me about the move... recommending moving companies, offering to help move my big f'ing TV & leather sectional couch, letting me know who to call about whatever. To you I must give a vote of thanks. I didn't actually utilize any of your advice; I have a couple of really great friends that helped me move all my shit, but regardless, your assistance is greatly appreciated.
You know, I figured that when I moved, everything would be just peaches & cream. Let me ask you; when was the last time that happened with regard to absolutely anything? I get all my shit in, and I'm all excited about the free laundry in the basement, and the gas for the dryer isn't turned on. I now have fourteen pounds of cold, wet clothes sitting in my laundry basket. I run home from working for 5 minutes, and park in the driveway in front of the house because I know I'm going to run right back out, and the guy from downstairs pulls in exactly at that minute and starts honking his horn. So now I have to run back downstairs and move my minivan to the back of the house for the 5 f'ing minutes that I'm actually going to be in the f'ing place. Timing is everything. But I digress. The landlord said that he'd have the dryer fixed by next week, and I learned to actually park if I have to come home for anything during the day. So far, it hasn't been a horrible process, but a couple hiccups have made it less than perfect. No, by the way, I don't bitch about everything.
All in all, it's been a good experience... so far. I guess time will tell if the juice was worth the squeeze. It's nice being in such a quiet place. I don't have the knuckleheads pounding on each other's walls when something is too loud like I did in the former corner apartment. I don't have a little weirdo potter banging on the door every 5 minutes, and there's no fat chick to steal my quarters from the dryer when I go out to smoke a cigarette... at least not that I know of; I guess it's possible that she's hiding in one of the nooks or crannies in the basement eating a bowl of Crisco just waiting to see me awkwardly meander through the intricacies of the cluttered laundry room, leave my laundry, and then spring into action like a ninja in a Quentin Tarantino movie. Much to her cholesterol-fueled quarter seeking rampage dismay, there will, in fact, be no quarters for her taking. I'd love to see the look on her bacon grease smeared face when she discovers that little nugget of information. "Ah ha!," I would bellow from the higher ground position like Obi Wan Kenobi after defeating Darth Vader/Anakin in Star Wars Episode III, "my quarters will no longer be victim to your thievery! Go get your own, you quarter stealing land monster quarter stealer!" Or something like that. By the way, if you haven't seen Episode III and I just ruined the ending for you... sorry. Get out of the house more and I won't have to do that again. I hope you've learned your lesson. Now, to continue.
Unfortunately, although I know I promised that I'd have pictures of the new apartment, sadly I do not. Yes, I could get off my lazy ass and snap a few with my digital camera, but quite frankly, I just don't have the energy. This week of work has been absolute hell, and I'm going to type this and take a nap. Maybe another time when I'm not working 15 hour days. Get over it, people.
There is one thing that I have to address. Well, I guess I don't really have to; as I've said many a time... this is my blog and I'll do whatever the hell I want. More accurately, I'll say that I want to... just because it's kind of bothering me and it's somewhat controversial. Having said that, read on at your own risk. I don't think anyone will outright be offended by whatever it is that I'm going to write. As a matter of fact, I'm not really sure what I'm going to write here... I never really do. I just sit down and start typing, and by some stroke of God's hand, people find their way here and start reading.
Regardless, here's what I'm going to write about. After reading this paragraph, you're on your own. I assume no risk of offending anyone... the oness is squarely on you.
There's a new film coming out this month called "Brokeback Mountain." If you're not familiar with the storyline, here it is; two cowboys start working together and subsequently fall in love. Yes, I said it and you read it correctly. It's a love story about two gay men. Just a quick sidebar here; ever see the South Park episode where an indie film festival comes to South Park and Cartman refuses to go because he says that all indie films are just about gay cowboys eating pudding? Kind of funny, although I don't know if there is any pudding eating or pudding eating references in the film. Insert gratuitous gay joke here. Done? Good. Let's move on.
Apparently, there has been some controversy about the film... you know, the whole gay thing is bad and wrong and gross and all that bullshit. The reason I know about this is because one of my best friends is gay, and happened to write about it in his blog. He got on a local message board about the movie, and people right here in Rochester were expressing opinions about it. I took the liberty of also logging on and reading some of the comments, and I have to say just one thing to those who oppose the film and have some unsubstantiated hatred of gay people; what's the big f'ing deal? If you oppose the film, don't pay your hard earned money to go see it. Don't freaking sit outside the theatre with your little picket signs and protest, don't post stuff on a message board saying that homosexuality is wrong and that all fags are going to hell, and lastly, don't waste your time. Seriously, now, aren't there more productive things that you could be doing with your life than degrading and annoying people who get enough shit from the general populous already? Jesus, I know I do. If there was a movie that came out about two diabetics that fell in love, would you bash them? Of course you wouldn't. Diabetes isn't a choice, and neither is being gay. Ask any gay person you know. If you say you don't know any, you're probably fooling yourself.
Now, before I go any further with this, let me say something and get it out of the way. I am not gay. I'm about as straight as they come. Having said that, it doesn't mean that I must, in fact, disassociate myself from that entire demographic. The only demographic that I willingly and publicly distance myself from is assholes. If you don't want to be around me, listen to me, be my friend, or read this blog just because it doesn't matter to me if someone is gay or straight, then the feeling is more than likely mutual. It simply means that I'm not part of it. In other words, when the census comes out, I won't list myself as having a life partner or being in a domestic partnership. If you're lucky enough to find someone that you can spend the rest of your life with, more power to you. I'm lucky if I can find someone that I can tolerate for more than six contiguous minutes.
Anyway, back to my original point. I'm not really exactly sure what my point is, but I'll keep writing and eventually, hopefully, one will surface.
As far as this whole posting negative things about the movie or the homosexual population at large, again, why do you care? What's it got to do with you? If a new flavor of Pepsi came out and you didn't like it, would you bitch to all your friends and people that you don't even know and create posts on public message boards that avocado flavored Pepsi is horrible? Probably not. By the way, don't try to sling that whole biblical thing on me about homosexuality being an abomination to God and all that shit. For every one thing that you find in the bible that you believe to be true, I can show you ten that you'll have to admit is folklore.
I've said this before and I'll say it again; if you'd have told me 10 years ago that in 2005 that one of my best friends would be a gay man that lives with another gay man, I'd have told you that you're insane. Where I'm originally from, if you're not driving a pick up with a gun rack, wearing a flannel shirt, a John Deere hat, and carrying around a half-empty Budweiser tall boy, you might as well be carrying a purse. That's one of the reasons that I thank God every day that I moved out of that town. Besides, do you know how hard it is to find a bra in my size? Kidding, by the way.
OK, here's my point; (I knew if I wrote long enough I'd find one) if you don't want to be around someone or something for whatever reason (it doesn't matter what... remember, we're all different) then, simply, don't. If you think someone's an asshole, fine. If you hate the way someone's hair smells, great. If you can't tolerate someone that steals quarters, terrific. Simply get away from it. Period. There's no reason to lash out and say that whatever that person has that you dislike is wrong... it's just not right for you. Plain & simple, simple & plain. Live and let live. Go listen to John Lennon, Woody Guthrie, James Taylor or the like... there's some good stuff in there.
Well, friends and neighbors, I think I'm done with that rant. However, it just wouldn't be Christmas if I didn't put a little something in here for everyone to get into the holiday spirit, so here you go. Click here and enjoy. It's one of my favorite Christmas thingys, and if you haven't seen it, prepare to laugh your ass off.
It's time... off to my nap. I've earned it. I'm off to my big ass couch right after I head downstairs and retrieve my wet laundry... think I'll bring a flashlight. You never know what you might find.
Until next time...
R
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