Oh My God... It's Chocolatey!

Well, my loyal readers, tonight is going to be a very short post. One, I'm tired. Two, it's late. Three, I have to get up and re-write a bunch of freaking contracts tomorrow, so Daddy needs his sleep.

The thing that I'm really annoyed about today is the jerkoff mayor of New Orleans, The Honorable (I use that term loosely) Mayor Ray Nagin. Mayor Ray (as I like to call him... we're close) addressed New Orleans yesterday, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. He had a stunning address laced with racial epithets and prophesized as if he were the second coming. This jackass had the audacity to say that New Orleans will be a "chocolate" city again, and that the city will remain predominantly African-American because (get this) that's what God wants.

The beauty of this statement is that when he was done with his moronic rant, a CNN reporter got a chance to question him regarding his comments. You could tell that this reporter was absolutely drooling to get this jackass's response. Regardless, when he asked what the mayor meant by "chocolate" city, his honor responded with, "if you mix dark chocolate with white milk, you get a delicious drink." Yeah, O.K.... I'm sure that's exactly what you meant when you said that it would be a "chocolate" city and predominantly African-American. I know that every time I walk into a convenience store and buy a chocolate bar, I'm thinking that it's a wonderful blend of dark chocolate and white milk, that used to be a delicious drink, but has now been pasteurized and chemically enhanced to make chocolate. Yeah, and by the way, I have a bridge right on scenic 490 that I'd love to sell you. What an ass. It's funny that this jackass had to come up with something to say on national television, when he knew the minute that he stepped off the podium that he was coming off as a world class ass. Congratulations... mission accomplished.

Here's my big problem with this whole thing; Pat Robertson (another jackass that's now selling age-defying pancakes... honestly... look it up if you don't believe me) said that Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans because Ellen Degeneres, an openly gay person, danced there. Now, bear in mind, this is the same jackass that recently said that God is punishing Prime Minister Sharon with a brain hemorrhage. I'm just waiting for the day when good 'ol Pat's colostomy bag explodes on live television, and some other lunchbox says that God is punishing him for saying that God is punishing everyone else. I'll tell you this much... God is laughing his ass off at both of these elitist assholes.

Now, my question is this; which one of these jackasses has God on speed dial? You see, you can't have it both ways. Either God wants New Orleans to be predominantly African-American, or God is punishing New Orleans because Ellen Degeneres danced there. The thing here, jackasses, is that you can't have it both ways. The funny thing is this; which one is right? Who's to say that the jackass bigot of a mayor doesn't have God's personal cell phone number, and who's to say that Pat Robertson doesn't grab a quick 18 holes with The Almighty on Sundays before football? The answer is this; neither. Neither one of you assholes knows what God wants, and that's the beauty of religion and belief. It's called blind faith. The catch here is that if you believe that God is a vengeful God, then how long is it before he lays his vengeance upon thee, you jackasses. I'm sure that there's something that you've done that would piss God off. The whole "love thy neighbor" thing is pretty apparent to me right about now.

The trick here is that you have to be a little careful when you start throwing around accusations like, "God is punishing you for, insert whatever you'd like here." The reason that you have to be careful about that shit is that you simply do not know. Unless you've sat down and had a face to face with your maker, the rest is simply speculation. You may have your beliefs, and that's fine. As a matter of fact, that's wonderful... you should. But to go around saying shit like that is just blasphemous. Shame on both of you jackasses.

On that note, I have to get to bed. Like I said, there's way too much to do tomorrow, I need way too much sleep, and it's way too late. Therefore, I think I'd better get to bed. Maybe a nice cup of warm milk will do the trick... I hear it's good with dark chocolate.

Until next time...

R