College, the Bills, and my roof

Well, people... I believe that I have what's known in the biz as writer's block. Not that I really consider myself a writer in the literary sense of the word, but more of a writer in the figurative. Insomuch as Yoko Ono was a singer, I am a writer. Granted I was never involved with a Beatle, but you get the idea. Anyway, my goal here is just to ramble on and maybe something will come to me.

Hmmm... nothing yet.

Hmmm... oh yeah, did you ever notice that... scratch that... never mind.

Still nothing.

Nope, still drawing a blank.

Ok... here's something; a couple of weeks ago, I went to Kirkville, NY to attend my cousin's high school graduation party. It was really nice; got to see my aunt and uncle that I never get to see, got to (obviously) see my cousin whom I haven't seen in like four years, and got to spend a little time with my mom and her soon-to-be husband. They did a really nice job with the party; catered, lawn games, a big tent, citronella candles, the whole nine. All of this to congratulate my cousin, Joey, on his graduation from high school, and to wish him well for the next (hopefully) four years at George Washington University. For those of you that don't know, it's in Washington, D.C., about a (guessing here) 7 hour drive from Syracuse. The reason that the origin of that journey and the drive time is significant is this; his girlfriend of 3 years will be attending Syracuse University.

Toward the evening's close, I was getting ready to leave, Joey retreated to the basement with his friends for a few games of Texas Hold 'Em, and the aforementioned girlfriend was sitting in the kitchen, chatting with my mom and aunt. I felt compelled to sit in on this conversation, simply because I thought I knew where it was going, and wanted to either confirm or disprove my suspicions.

Sure enough, my suspicions were confirmed... I think it may have been the rose-colored glasses that this little bright-eyed high school grad was wearing just a second before I came in, but as sure as the Pope wears a goofy hat, there it was; "well, I'm sure once we get settled, he'll be up to visit me, I'll head down there to visit him... yada, yada, yada." Well, honey... I got some news for ya.

As much as you probably don't want to hear this, and as much as you're not going to believe this; your little idea of "high school sweetheart goes off to the big city for school has a great time but we wind up together in the end" isn't going to happen. Unfortunately, this is reality, and none of us live on the WB Network (as nice as that sounds... I think I could get used to being called Pacy... no, wait... no I couldn't... he's such a wuss and Pacy is a retarded name). It just doesn't work that way. I'd love to be able to tell you different, but just about the same time you're downing your 9th Jell-O shot at Sigma Delta Whatever and some dreamy senior named T.J., B.J. or Steve is just about to take you back to his room to show you his bottle cap collection, guess what Mr. High School Sweetheart is doing about 500 miles away from you. If your answer is, "he's in his dorm room enjoying a Diet Vanilla Pepsi and diligently typing me an email as he shops online for engagement rings," in short, you're wrong.

Now, before you go and tell me to go F myself and that I don't know what I'm talking about and I'm just bitter and jaded... well on those two notes you're probably right, but hear me out. Just answer me one simple question, and I'll back off. Here it is; when was the last time you got exactly what you wanted from something that you haven't experienced? How about this; do you like to eat eel? You know, the sushi or sashimi or whatever. I'm guessing that your answer is that you don't know, simply because you've never tried it. My point here is this; until you try something, you don't know the outcome. Now don't get me wrong, any time I get a new Playstation 2 game and my former roommate comes over, I'm 90% sure that I'm going to whoop his ass, however there is that 10% chance that he'll punk me around like a little bitch... but the odds aren't good. Yes, I know going away to college and staying with your HS boyfriend who's 500 miles away and trying sushi are a far cry from one another, but I hope you get my point. And as much as I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, there's one thing I know... after 9 Jell-O shots, T.J., B.J., or Steve is going to look like Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Albert Einstein all rolled into one... he's kind of going to look like me... kind of. The good news is that 500 miles away, your boyfriend is doing the same thing, although instead of a guy named B.J., he's, well, insert collegiate sex joke here.

Here's some more good news, my dear. It won't take long for you to recover. Trust the Rychkid... he knows whereof he speaks. Everything will be rough for a while... you know, feelings of guilt, regret, that empty feeling you get when you feel like you'll never meet anyone like the one you lost... believe me, again, I know. You will, however, survive, and tomorrow, the sun will rise. It's painful to think about, I know, and I'm not a pessimist, I'm simply a realist, and while I really do enjoy your naivete, it's not in a negative way. It's not in a "point and laugh" kind of way. In reality, it's nice to see that kind of blind hope, the kind that Buffalo Bills fans have, the kind that made my friend Kevan move to Florida with who he believes to be the love of his life, and the kind that ultimately keeps me from throwing myself off the roof of my building every night. It's the belief that despite the odds, things will work out... that he is, in fact, in that dorm room with a cold beverage yearning for the time when you will be by his side again... the belief that the rookie J.P. Losman will lead our team to the promised land... the belief that at 36 years old moving to Florida with that girl is absolutely the right thing to do, and the belief that I am destined for a higher purpose and that my soulmate is out there somewhere.

Let me close with this, and I'm not going to tell you to prove me wrong... that would go against all I believe in when it comes to human nature. I'm just going to tell you go with it... and by that I mean experience all that college has to offer. It's going to be the best (hopefully) four years of your life... believe me on this one. Also, believe me that you can't go back, and if you restrain yourself, you're going to regret it. There's nothing sadder than regret... it just sucks. Also, I wish you the best and wish that I could just be in your shoes about 6 months from now... it's going to be a blast.

Anyway, the Rychkid has to be going... gotta update my fantasy football picks for the upcoming draft. I wonder if there's a good rookie quarterback available.

Until next time...

R